Tantrums and the Terrible Twos

Toddlers or ‘terrible twos’, as they are often called are young children who are 18 months to 3 years of age. This is the time they begin walking. Although each child grows at her own pace, the toddler stage is one when the child’s gross motor skills develop considerablely and even before one knows the babbling baby becomes a non-stop chatterbox. In cases, the toddler is unable to speak properly yet, speech is replaced by screams and yells to express choice. Toddler development is characterized by significant changes in the emotions and behaviour of the child. The toddler develops a sense of independence and inability to act independently generates frustration. This is also the age when the child learns a lot of skills and interacting with the toddler through a number of constructive activities like painting, craft, cooking and reading would go a long way in the overall development of the child.

When a toddler’s need for independence is interrupted and when her desires not met, then the most expected reaction would be a tantrum. Toddler tantrums may last for five minutes or may carry for half the day. Kicking and screaming are common features as are children throwing themselves onto the floor, flopping down onto furniture, standing rigid or just refusing to cooperate. Getting angry and screaming back should be avoided as this would only worsen the situation. Let us now discuss some concrete measures to tackle them.

• The first would be to calm the child down and convey the unfeasibility of the idea. If this does no good, which is most likely, then the child should be warned .
• If the tantrum continues, then the ‘time out’ principle can be applied. This is moving the child away from her place from toys and other distractions and letting her be there for some number of minutes depending on the child’s age. Once this is complete and the child apologizes then she may be rewarded with a hug. However, the time out theory should not be applied to kids who would not understand the whole act or would not succumb to it.
• Sometimes ignoring is the best policy. The toddler may be placed in a safe place in the house while the parent continues with his or her activity, turning a deaf ear to all the screaming and crying. Soon after, in the absence of an audience, the toddler would normalize realising that the trick is no good.
• Toddlers have loads of energy and it is best to channelize these energies into something productive. Involving the child in activities like writing, scribbling, painting, playing with clay , cooking or swimming is a great idea to keep the child so busy that the opportunities for throwing tantrums are least.

Having discussed all this, it should be borne in mind that toddler tantrums are a very normal aspect of toddler development and would soon be outgrown with age. Till then being calm and patient is the catch line for peaceful living.