Shame and Kids

When it comes to personal attributes, shame is like the silence between right and wrong. Besides, when we talk of shame and toddlers or shame and kids it’s possibly like the usage of sauce…there can be endless variations sharing a few common ones though.

Shame in itself generally is difficult to define, defy, limit, deter, detest, accept, expect……..yes you could go on. This is so since the expression is different for all of us and though the subject may be similar the exhibition or reaction or activity in turn varies.

Now lets take a right turn and walk up to the toddlers or the kids’ corner. Things here are of a different magnitude altogether and different to a level where at times, it takes professional help to understand their expressions and then act accordingly. Agree / Disagree? Think about it!

For most parents shame and toddlers seem to be totally unjustified. They simply don’t realize that toddlers do have this virtue in equal proportion to that of an adult. The way it’s shown or the reason may vary. Generally if their sense of shame is ignored, it doesn’t come back to them on a good note and they normally either hide away further or become aggressive. There may be reaction of other kinds as well!

A little older – shame and kids now live on a new plane altogether. They can talk and so, shame comes by as silence, or hiding behind mama’s skirt or the curtain, or just running down the alley. There can be many more of this kind, just that it’s a step easier getting to understand their sense of shame about something or someone.

Ideally, shame should never be interpreted negatively when it’s among kids/ toddlers, even if it is something which could not be encouraged. Your take should be more childlike, so that they realize that they need to come out of it, (if they need to).Otherwise, they should get the signal in a positive way so that the whole episode is more of learning. Example: toilet habits.

Well, shame and toddlers or shame and kids will have thousands of manifestation in all the times to come ahead. What would be worth to wait and watch is the perception the future generation is yet to unveil and the numerous accomplishments that parenting in future will behold!